Advice on Bullying



 

Bullying has serious consequences for both the bully and their victims. Three quarters of all people have been bullied at one time in their lives. What a person feels about what is being done to them is important and should be validated as their experience. Fell afraid, intimidated, and ashamed, threated, can't have fun, or unsafe. "Kids will be kids" is not acceptable.

 

Bullying can be physical (hitting, bumping, spitting), or can be psychological (teasing, name-calling, intimidating, low self-esteem, suicide). Verbal bullying is more dangerous and has long-lasting effects. Tolerance and respect need to be learned.

 

Bullies do it because it makes them feel superior, get a high, look good in front of others, and/or powerful. In reality, bullies lack social skills and are insecure so they pick on others. In the long run, bullies are more likely to engage in other anti-social behavior such as drugs, violence, and law-breaking.

 

Bullies need help. They need to learn to follow the rules, to learn what acceptable behavior is, and to understand how they are hurting the victim. Put themselves in the shoes of others.

 

Some bullies are quiet and subtle and bully others when no one can see it. Others do it in front of others as a show- off behavior. Sometimes people just pick on someone else.

 

Both males and females may bully people of the other sex. Bullies pick on people they believe won’t fight back.

 

A victim needs to be assertive and not give the impression they are submissive. Victims are afraid to tell someone because they might be called a snitch. Victims must learn that they aren't all alone, that others care about how they feel and want to help them. They need to break the code of silence. Advice that a victim should just ignore the bullying isn't enough. Intervening on behalf of the victim is very helpful. Let the bully know that this is unacceptable behavior and let the victim know that others care about them.